People are slow. The masses that comment at Digg and Apple Defects especially so. Two words are being thrown around that are really being used out of context in all the discussion about MacBooks and MacBook Pros.

Yellow Journalism

When someone accuses you of yellow journalism, you have been accused of whoring the truth. You are not being called a liar, or being told that anything you said is factually incorrect. What’s being said is that you’re saying it out of context, missing data, or using a small data set to imply a much larger problem than really exists.

If I said that Apple iBook G3s had a far-reaching video problem and that one should question Apple’s design of the product, that would be correct as there is ample evidence to support that. In fact, if I were to talk about such a thing I could prevent the accusation of yellow journalism by actually quoting and naming sources and making myself available for contact about the issue.

Apple posted some really handy debugging tips on their developer site a little while ago. Worth a look.

And remember, kids, come April Fool’s you need to find at least one person you hate and add NSQuitAfterLaunch to their @~/.MacOSX/environment.plist@ file…

Of all the places to have this information, Microsoft was the last on my list. Even then, even that they have it, the funniest part is how seriously they take it.

A parent’s primer to computer slang
Strange New Gaming Worlds Online
MSN:Teens’ online lingo leaves parents baffled

Beautiful.

PowerPoint Makes You Dumb

NASA, the board argued, had become too reliant on presenting complex information via PowerPoint, instead of by means of traditional ink-and-paper technical reports. When NASA engineers assessed possible wing damage during the mission, they presented the findings in a confusing PowerPoint slide — so crammed with nested bullet points and irregular short forms that it was nearly impossible to untangle. ‘‘It is easy to understand how a senior manager might read this PowerPoint slide and not realize that it addresses a life-threatening situation,’‘ the board sternly noted.

No kidding? You mean providing life-and-death information in a summary format for stupid people (executives/managers/anyone not you) could mean some information isn’t conveyed as well as it should be? Anyone working in a corporation should see that as obvious … and done daily nationwide. Welcome to corporate America. You just killed seven people and we’re all heavily in debt because the left hand is unaware of the concept of a right hand. Ya think we can blame it all on PowerPoint?

I’m all for trying.

Afterthought: Tell me this was a joke, please: “But what if PowerPoint is actually making us stupider?”

Baffling

No it’s not.

If you’ve been following Apple, you know that every so often the company pulls a rabbit out of its hat.

Twice a year.

The missing element in Apple’s portfolio is the handheld computer.

No it’s not. It’s the kitchen sink. You really want an Apple kitchen sink so you can complain when it’s brushed metal.

John Scully was a big promoter of the idea,

A good reason not to.

and founder Steve Jobs is still galled that Scully came up with anything at all.

Most of us are.

It was dropped.

Sorry, that’s not covered by the warranty. You’re screwed.

The Newton was never a handheld anyway—too big.

Then why is it in this discussion about handhelds?

Now that the category is wavering and tablet computers are appearing, look for Apple to jump back in.

Oh, right, because that market is just thriving for Windows users now. Uh huh. Right.

There’s good reason to believe that a jazzy new Newton II will be forthcoming, perhaps in January.

No there’s not.

I also suspect a convertible laptop.

Mine has a hard top. I much prefer that. It opens and closes. The wind is a problem sometimes, though.

Maybe Apple would call it the Granny Smith.

Har. Har. Bet the retirement home went wild on that one.

I’m surprised that Apple hasn’t done more with its product names.

Yeah, they’ve been sticking to annoyingly common version names like Jaguar and Panther in contrast to XP and ME and 2003 Advanced Server. They need more senseless two-character names in their inventory.

Since the failed Pippin,

Doesn’t something have to be released to be a failure?

the company has become bland, even square, with its names.

John, you are not the person to talk about being square.

Cool apple varieties include Baldwin, Cortland, Criterion, Empire, Gala, Gravenstein, Jonathan, Liberty, Macoun, Red Delicious, Rome Beauty, Spartan, Winesap, and Yellow Delicious, among others.

Umm … right.

Instead we get the iBook and the iMac.

And people still get them confused. I’ll bet you think a two-button mouse confuses no one at all as well.

If you add European names to the scads of Apple varieties you get Alkmene, Decio, Herrnhut, Reinette Clochard, Renetta, and Ruban. I could go on for days.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

So how about naming a product the Apple Oberrieder Glanzreinette? Now there’s a name waiting for a product!

Spam! Spam! Spam!

I’m so tired of Dvorak but he’s just fun to mess with.

Collocate: to set side by side.

Colocate: to place (two or more units) close together so as to share common facilities.

Get it right.

[Thanks to Merriam-Webster for the texts.]

BBC NEWS | UK | Scotland | Texting troubles teachers

“It seems to me that if the kids are interested and producing something, even if it’s in poor English, then some teachers are happy to take it,” he said.

“Frankly I am appalled by it. That seems to be a trend – kids are no longer expected to speak the Queen’s English.

Tsk. Tsk. I’d hate to be a kid these days. I mean you have to not only know the difference between they’re/their/there but also between you/u and two/too/to/2. How sad and difficult!

I say again: {end}